Steps

I'm going to try to blog here again. Hopefully it will work, but if not that is ok too!

So, This post is about steps. Steps I have taken and other steps in my life. I have taken huge steps personally, in that I am now officially a baby catcher! I feel like I worked so hard for this accomplishment, my apprenticeship pushed me to new limits. Somehow though, it just isn't as important to the people I thought it would be. I really don't have a "mother" and maybe by choice. My biological mother and I fell out years ago, gosh, 20 bloody years ago! It was as a result of my parents getting divorced in the end, but that is that. My dad is the one who is usually there for me out of my family. Do you know that I got 2 Congratulations cards and/or acknowledgments in regard to gaining my certification? No, not from any of my side of the family. Yes I am hurt by the fact that I don't think still to this day, nearly 3 months after passing that my own brother has even acknowledged it.

I have a step family. This includes a step mom, and two step brothers. One in AZ and the other in the Army in KY. There is no real blended family if we are all honest. Until 2 yrs ago, we all did what we were expected to do in taking all of our families (minus the AZ) and go to my dad and step-mom's house. After years of getting up at the butt crack of dawn, after staying up who knows how late wrapping (Tom was generally working), making breakfast after present opening, shortly after that, making food to take, getting everyone showered and dressed and out the door for the day. Then we would enter total chaos. The kind that ticks me off and stresses me out. People cussin' in the kitchen cause someone is doing something wrong or in the way, dad or sm yelling at the grandkids for running or being too loud, and me just wanting to find a stiff drink to get through it. The guest usually include my step mom's family and my brother. It got to be the my husband and I just wanted to spend the day at home with our family. Is that too much to ask? Why but of course, it must be.....

Because since that time, in which you would have thought I said I was never seeing them again, we have not celebrated together. The first year was just bitter sadness that things had gone the way they did. Last year, was ok, we ended up seeing them sometime before for some reason and we exchanged gifts then. It's all about the gifts right :) And this year, when I tried to pull something together in plenty of notice, I find out that it probably ain't gonna happen this year either. For decades, we went to my grandmother's house EVERY Xmas Eve. Well due to births and Tom's schedule and then recently disgust, we have not gone there either. My grandmother is a few years from 90, and refuses to realize that she can't do it anymore. Her home is gross, her food is rotten, and of course she is in the kitchen the whole time, and everyone is bitching about her this or that, because she drives everyone crazy. Not worth it. The thing about my family that is becoming obvious is this: I don't think we like each other. We put up with each other because we have to. I want different for my kids. I want a loving environment, one with compassion and respect. Letting go of what isn't there anyway with my family is hard. I'm just so disappointed.

So I am going to try to sort through these feelings and not let it consume me. I only have my kids with me at the holiday's while they are living here for sure, I want to make them sweet. I don't want the next month consumed with hurtful drama. I know some step families work, but in my opinion.....step families suck.

Juggling it all

Well.......the first half of the school year is complete and the kids are doing fantastic. Just before Christmas, Tom got bumped off of his route that he has been on for years! So now he has a new schedule which is really screwing with everything. I hate it when his routes change! It is making homeschooling a bit more challenging as far as my job goes. I have a lot of good friends that are willing to help out when I have births, and I am really grateful for that! Tyler has been playing indoor soccer for the last 9wks and last week he finally scored his first indoor goal. It was in the last few seconds and I was so excited for him!! Both boys are going to play again starting next week. Sophie is dying to get back on the field...lol. Who knew my little princess was going to be such an athlete! She will have to wait a bit longer though. She is dancing every week. Next week we will find out what the big show will be themed and what her class will be doing, which is always exciting. We are supposed to get some snow.......not ice tonight! I really hope that is the case, I hate ice! We have had way to much of it lately. That is about it for now!

So we are homeschooling this year!

We are trying out a different method of education this year! It's not the teachers, it is the system I have a problem with! In the years past we have attended Hilliard City Schools and I am just not that impressed. And they are supposed to be one of the better schools. So class starts Monday! My oldest is going to be doing more of a virtual class to start with and the other two are doing Calvert. It also helps that my neighbors have decided to try it out as well.......;) We are going to commit ourselves for a year and then take it from there. Wish us luck! I really want it to work....

Soccer season has officially begun! With all 3 playing this year, needless to say, it's busy! Sophie is loving it, this is her first year. Josh has the same coach as last year which is nice. Tyler has all new coaches and team members, but he's Tyler....he'll do fine.

Tom just rebid on his route, but got to keep the same one. It is slightly different, he thinks he'll be home about 10am Sat morning instead of 3pm in the afternoon, which would be awesome, but we'll see!

Other than that, Sophie will start Dance in a few weeks. I'll post pics when I can.

Welcome!

I thought I would create a blog for our family! There are so many changes and the kids are growing up fast! Enjoy!